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What is pain? Pain is subjective, we know that. One doesn't have to be a nursing student to know that. If someone says, "I'm in pain", that someone is in pain.There are several types of pain. I think, no, I believe I've experienced those types today.What I thought was to be an ordinary day, turned out to be one of those days you may never forget.Blurrily rubbing my eyes, I awoke with a twinge of something nagging at the back of my mind. A few minutes later, I realized I had completely cursed my way through answering my final exams the day before. Having had moderate fever 2 days prior to the exams and resting the day before that, I inadvertently just left everything up to chance. Others refer to it as faith. I told myself, I would just have to rely on sheer luck and "stock knowledge" to answer my final exams. Anyhoo, I know I didn't do well but I hoped for a good outcome, so I set that nagging feeling aside and went to the bathroom.Urgh! I knew time would come eventually. After a 5-month absence, that fiery red monster came back to sneer at me, taunting me with its pungent smell. Dang, that bloody mess I see in my undies can't be good. I hate having my period. There goes my good day. I knew then I would have to bring a battalion of pain meds. Oh well.There it is, my first type of pain. Physical Pain. Hmm, the good thing is, I could use my incoming dysmenorrhea as a valid excuse for missing our group meeting. Since as I was worried about our upcoming defense, I raised my own white flag and went anyway. But first, I needed to pop in a few pain meds.What came next was a blow. When I arrived at the library, the thing I was dreading came to pass. My groupmates were busy checking their papers. Some were counting gleefully, while others had faces which grew more somber by the minute. So I took the next remaining seat and joined in the hoola-baloo. AT this point, I then experienced another type of pain. Mental Pain. I know it sounds corny, but I did have a stabbing headache totally not physical.So, I just shrugged it off and said to myself, "what could be worse than this?". The funny thing about rhetorical questions is, fate sends you a text message right away.As I was grumpily counting my wrong answers, my "crush" beckoned me to sit beside him. I was pleased. He told me he had something to tell me. While my heart felt like it was about to explode, my whole body felt like melting. "Okay, calm down. Don't be too assuming.", I said to myself. As I was glowingly smiling as I sat beside him, his next words dealt a very harsh and compelling blow. He told me, "Hey, me and She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named are dating. It's really great, right?But please, don't tell anyone. We just wanted you to be the first to know." "Wow! That's really great! Thanks for telling me". I forced a big smile and left him.Shock. Grief. Pain. Anger. More pain.The song was right. Love Hurts.
people love this. it makes you feel good. some people call it a de-stressor. others just want it all day long. any inhibitions you had previously had will go up in flames once you've had a taste of it.
now, don't go thinking what i think your thinking.. i'm referring to the buko juice. ^_~ now, c'mon, don't feel bad. after all, it's light, it's tasty, and dang it, it's even healthy!! they say it even cleanses your body inside as well. i just had my fill and i'm humming right now. sweet!~ it's a sweltering afternoon out, and that one BJ did me in. *grins*
well.. anyway, for those who are upset that i've veered from the common abbreviation. let me just share one of my favorite quotes from Samantha Jones (SATC).
"You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'."
right on the spot!~
*sigh*
tomorrow's my semifinals on med-surg nursing. i can't seem to focus on studying. my mind keeps on straying away, either to facebook, the twilight saga, or food. and eventhough i already made an itinerary for today, trouble is, i have a hard time keeping to that schedule. i've been procrastinating the last 2 days favoring the holiday today as my super study day mode. now, it's already 5pm and i'm still trying to focus. sheesh!
what i'd do to do away with my procrastination.
ugh, i feel one coming. i can feel the drumlike beat of the pain ebbing and flowing. regret seemingly settles in as i realize it might have been due to the extra bar of chocolate i ate this morning. ahh, i can feel it now. like a staccato note, the pain pulses, rearing its ugly head. teasing me. leering at me. now i'm asking myself if that extra sweet dark chocolate was worth it. right now, i can't say..hmm, ask me tomorrow after i've dealt with this.
what's really irritating is when you're just about ready to leave the house and you realize there's something funny going in your tummy. that's when you're breaking out in cold sweat.. you hurry back in, grab the nearest pile of tissues and almost break down the bathroom door in your haste. after a few minutes, a flush is heard and a relieved sigh is almost audible.oh sh*T, i'm late! gotta go...
the jeepney ride. of course, we filipinos know this is the most economical ride, aside from trisikads (instead of a motorcycle, a bicycle is hooked to the thingy). what with the cost of gas in the world market, taxi cabs nowadays have a flagdown of 30 and 2pesos every.. (hmm, i honestly don't know how that works)
what's so wild about it, you ask. it's the fact that every once in a while, you find something hilarious, crazy, and irritating about it. scenarios present themselves in one of the following ways:
1. the fast and furious - this ride is what it says. you know its eager to go again, as once you step on the platform, you're left weaving your way to the nearest empty seat, holding on for dear life and screaming on the inside. you feel as if you've left your soul by the waiting shed. when these rides go, they absolutely mean it. even though you've timed your destination at approx 1 hour, you'll definitely be there in 20mins tops. this is the ride i love the most, that is when you don't have anxiety attacks every now and then. this is a no-no for people with cardiac problems.
2. the turtle - again, this ride is what it says. it's the exact opposite of the first. ironically, this usually presents itself when you're in need of the first type of ride. while waiting for the next jeepney ride, you find yourself lightly sweating in anxiety as you're left with 15mins to travel for 30min ride. dang TV, BM, FB, or whatever two lettered abbreviation you had in mind. going back, you can almost feel an increased amount of sweat as you realize you're in the wrong ride. once you see the jeepney stop at every jeepney stop, at every other corner, or at any point when there're a congregation of people, that's when it hits. depression, drama, even diarrhea? hehe, just maybe upset stomach. you know you are going to be late. you either step off and hail a taxi OR you just sit there and hope it goes faster, when it's clearly not going to.
3. the pack mule - this is where the drivers or conductors believe their jeepney is the last jeepney on earth. passengers here are packed like a sardine can. you can clearly smell someone's BO or perhaps you've felt someone's sweaty armpit through your shirt. IMO, this is the grossiest ride ever. and what's more funny, is the conductor hails 'desperate' waiting passengers and scams them to believe that there is an open seat. once that (SP) scammed passenger gets in, the driver hits the gas, and the SP ends up hovering in the middle. the SP either sits on someone else's leg (harassing that certain someone), or sits with 3/4 of his butt hovering, or courageously stands up to oppression and bangs their knuckles shouting loudly "i gotta get off" (that sounds rather funny, who wants to "get off" inside a jeepney) ^_~
4. the lounge - ah, this is a good one. that is, if you're not in any hurry. this is where you see people almost lying down. this ride is too spacious if you ask me. passengers here act out their 'inhibitions' if you sit near them, it's as if you have a flesh-eating disease or something, they slide their butts to 4 spaces from you. others even love to hitch up their leg trousers and check their overgrowing toenails. i know disgusting. but i've seen them. others just mainly have a blank look in their eyes, oblivious to what's happening. mostly though, passengers here get the feeling of a road trip, with a fare of course.
okay, that's enough raving for today.
note to self: probably post something about the passengers too.
just arrived from my supposed "related learning experience".
the day started okay enough. i woke up to the blaring sound of my alarm clock, which was set to go off every 15minutes to avoid oversnoozing.. waking up 3am to drag my body off the bed is one nasty challenge. if i weren't that anxious to get a replacement duty, i would gladly sleep in the bathroom while answering the call of nature. however i feel, i must go be a good nursing student.
this week is ER week. at first, i expected a lot of gore, blood, and action, like a badly filmed and lousily budgeted movie. unfortunately, since i was assigned to a district hospital, which was two towns from the city, i ended up standing for hours on end instead. i've endured the standing ovation for 2 days already and was not looking forward to another one.
fortunately, our CI bailed on us today. with no word from him, my group and i happily lounged away for 2 card-playing, music-thumping, film-viewing hours. giving up, we happily packed up and set for home.
at least, until tomorrow comes.
the first semester of the last year of nursing school "entitles" the students to experience the thrill of indulging themselves in nursing research. since our esteemed faculty love to challenge the intellect of their academe, they have reshuffled our previous sections with gusto!~ now, it gives us the feeling of freshmen year, which we clearly are not!
*pause for effect*
with the research groupings in place, 12 new faces smile forcedly at each other as introductions were in order. several minutes of short life stories later, with feigned laughter thrown in once in a while, the group felt a new sense of "companionship".
for some reason, our esteemed college had "generously" given as around a month's worth of data gathering time. "surprisingly", this time was cut down to roughly two weeks, as a week's worth of duty or "related learning experience" comes alternately in-between weeks of medical-surgical nursing lectures.
so with practiced hands and witty minds, *pause for comment* we embarked on that "wonderful journey" called hard work.
at the end of a "month"-long preparation, the day finally came for us to give in our research proposal. amidst doubts and infrequent 'bickerings', the proposal finally went through.
the result: a LOT of errors were noted, frequent grammar checks seen, and suggestions were numerous.. in the end, the panelists were again too generous (for real, this time) and gave us a chance to make the research study a lot better.
so, defense here we come.
after we make those corrections, that is..
it is starting again. that inevitable meeting of the uninvited. the noisy neighbors are being lured out of their lairs and into the light. like sewer rats smelling the subtlest hint of gouda cheese, they begin their "almost-nightly" ritual. like the local evening news, these pests converge on one spot and report all the nasty things in their boring lives. there is no end to the noise they inadvertently bring as they drone on and on about too trivial things. night after night, they only buzz about who's doing who and who's wearing what.
as much as one would say, "maybe you're eavesdropping". i kid you not, i can not help hearing the sordid details of their humdrum lives. even if i were to have my iPod volume at full blast, wear out my headphones and damage my eardrums, i can still hear the annoying crow-like voice of what they refer to as their muse. i refer to her now as the siren, the creature from all the greek myths that lure lonely sailors to their death. that's the one. everyone thinks she's all pretty and wonderful, but deep down that facade, she reeks of sewage waste. the ringleader could be anyone, could be the d*ck whose constantly bragging about his "conquests". probably has a short baton. or he could be the tech guy who projects his manhood but possibly hides behind his mom's skirt. or she could be the high-pitched chinese pest who shares every moment of her miserable life with the siren by broadcasting what she's currently doing every other minute..
NOISE. aahhh.. the one thing i truly hate. i can hear it coming. like a canker sore that constantly gets disturbed by a mere flicking of the tongue.
as the noise builds, so does my anger. i can see a countdown to full-on anger mode. i'm imagining getting a winchester model 12 shotgun, and blasting the bejesus out of them.
alas, the voice of my mother envelops me like a cloud. "the time will come, my child. karma will come for them"
everytime i remember her saying that, i always think of those thrillers where there is a crazy catholic woman/widow who shouts " The Almighty will smite thee! He will smite those who have oppressed the innocent. He will SMITE them!" or something to that extent, anyway..
a quick pause to soothe my anger and i gather all my anti-noise gadgets..
1. ear plugs - check
2. iPod - check
3. ear muffs? - check
4. soothing classical music - check
5. hard rock (if #4 doesn't work) - check
6. imaginary shotgun - check
now, let's get to work..
holiday schmoliday~
today's a good day to procrastinate on everything since today was declared as a nonworking holiday. i have no tolerance for political agendas and whatnots, but the one president i love in my time, is the current one. Gloria Arroyo! her knack for declaring holidays on MONDAYS is absolutely awesome!! awwww-sooom!! :D note that i don't care what her policies or plans for the country are, but i love nonsense holidays!! :D woohooo~~
moving on..
i always thought movie marathons were fun.. don't get me wrong, they are! except for the fact that you HAVE to plan ahead..
PLAN 1:
10-15 bags of chips
5 2liter bottles of soda
2 bags of 500g peanuts and popcorn
PLAN 2:
5 bags of chips
3 2L bottles of soda
1 bag of 500g peanuts and popcorn
and a HANDFUL of fastfood takeout leaflets
hey i'm planning for me and my roomie here, so pipe down on the "you should lay off the calories" messages ^_~
i love being a couch potato and all, but the hardest part for me is when you have to stand up.. and get a refill on your soda or grab another bag of chips.. i just had my fourth bag and my third refill and yet i'm still on my second movie.. *and i wonder why i'm overweight*
hmm..
NOTE to self #1: procrastinate on blogging and do your dang exercises erin!
woooo~ District 9 is available for downloading... ETA is 2hours. enuf for me to finish 1 movie
NOTE to self #2: delete note #1 and get two bags of chips instead.
'nuff said
setting: a windy morning in the dim hall room.
leader: hello everyone, my name is chrysta and i'm here to welcome you all to Internet Addicts Anonymous.
all: hi chrysta!
chrysta: hi all! let's begin with the freshest face in the room. i'd like to call on our newest member.
me: *grabs microphone* hello, my name is erin. and i'm an internet addict.
all: hello erin!
me: hey everyone!
chrysta: hello erin, anything you'd like to share with the group?
me: okay. i'd like to share my usual day at home.
it is one in the afternoon and i'm sitting in front of my monitor with red bleary eyes. the urge to check whether or not my crops are ready to harvest drove me to wake up too dang early today, eventhough it is a holiday.. 4am is early ryt? stooopid FB games. Facebook applications are one way for me NOT to be too addicted to games unlike before. it's not that time consuming as online games anyway.
*sigh* it was not too long ago when i was hooked to MMORPGs. the likes of which drove me to sleep around 2-3 hours per day. even less, depending on the amount of experience i needed to get to the next level. my roomie would be wary whenever she arrived home from work. well, considering i was still sitting in the same spot as when she left me there that morning.. that and the fact that i didn't have the time to take a bath.. (disgusting ryt?)
but this is how we gamers live our lives.. (murmurs of approval from everyone else) for around 4 years of my MMORPG addiction, i lived a monotonous life, or something of that nature.
i'd like to share my schedule: (i know everyone else does this)
MORNING: wake up, sit in front of PC, play, grab ingredients for breakfast, make it in front of the PC, play while eating breakfast, play, woohooo~ level up, play, bathroom break, play
AFTERNOON: play, grab ingredients for lunch, make lunch in front of the PC, play while eating lunch, dang it~ dead from bossfight, play, flame another player for looting my items, play, bathroom break, play
EVENING: play, grab ingredients for dinner, make dinner in front of the PC, play while eating dinner, yeah~ guildwars, play, bathroom break, play, sh*T~ its almost 10pm~ i should stop~ wait i might get a good loot, play, chat with fellow players while leveling, play, eat some chips, play, oh sh*T it's already 2am, last 100 mobs, play, noo~ it's 3am already~, leaves PC on since character is on vend mode, tries to fall asleep
after 3 hours of sleep..
sh*T! i thought that dream was real! i thought i really looted the golden armor and golden weapons!~ oh well, another day leveling.. i might get that really really rare armor today.
me: *sighs* i know ya'll went through all of this but i want you to understand..
*stops when i see everyone else, except chrysta, is gone*
chrysta: very good erin, now let's work on NOT tempting the other members next time, okay?
me: right.
Blogging. Never knew i'd really do it. But here i am.
Certain events lead to the creation of this blog. Some fun, some weird, some creepy, but most of them crazy. Crazy is what crazy does, or what was that dang cliche again?
Hmmm. Blogging.. It IS kinda outdated, but it is fun.. I might as well try it out.
